Peace
first published in the Book of Emotions
Anger. freedom, support, vulnerability, trust, hope, shame, peace, fear, joy, grief and courage – The Book of Emotions opens the door to explore one emotion at a time.
And it works as a guide back to self. It’s not about the how and why we lose our feelings, it’s a way to make it easier to relearn, re-connect and recognize our feelings.
Fifteen authors shares open-heartedly their personal experiences and perspectives and gives the reader an insight of how it feels to feel.
*** The Book of Emotions —- or how it feels to feel ***
In 2017, I contributed to chapters of The Book of Emotions, compiled and curated by Anna Linder, that were being released every month. In 2018, Anna released the book in Amazon in paperback and Kindle format. It is available in most Amazon countries.
Thanks to Anna, I’m publishing my pieces here one post a time. May it move you to connect with your emotions during these tumultuous and challenging times.
Everyone sees peace as the untarnished white dove, flying in majesty and blinding beauty. It is perfectly soaring in the sky as if no wind or rain can crash its perfect flight. It looks as if it holds a wisdom no imperfect human can ever attain.
In a world that is full of chaos and discord, in the jumble of thoughts inside my head, in the wild ocean of my heart, in the jungle of my ever-changing body, peace’s elusiveness beguiles me and I am ever in search of it.
It sometimes comes in the moments when life seems to slow down before my very eyes. In that brief moment of looking in the eyes of a smiling baby. When I suddenly look up and see a beautiful clear blue sky. During a second of that happy photo snap. In the mildew and silence of dawn. At a busy intersection and I see myself above the swarm of people, apart yet connected.
Its that feeling when everything is just as its meant to be. Peace is in the here and the now, an acceptance of my moments. Easy? No. Because I am so far removed from now.
What if I simply looked? Amongst the chaos of what I see, what if I simply became the witness? See the moving scenes before my very eyes like a movie screen. See myself a part of it or not. Watch all the actors in the play of life.
What if I just listened? Listened to the voices telling me what to do and not to do. What if I just allowed myself to truly hear? Hear all the lies and judgments floating all around. Decipher who’s talking and who’s not. And just like before, allow myself to be the listener amongst this cacophony.
What if I let myself be touched? Give my muscles a chance to be felt. Allow the air to caress my skin. What if I don’t recoil from what’s coming at me and let myself receive? Stand majestically as the one being brushed by my breath.
And maybe, just maybe... I’ll start to experience the part of me who receives all of these moments. There’s this part of me who is silently behind all that I see, hear, smell, touch, taste, think and feel in this life- time. There’s this part of me who has always been here watching the actor, hearing the listener, feeling for the human.
This is the part of me who has seen what has gone before me, who has heard the whispers of my years, who has smelled the diversities of life, who has tasted the sweetness of the earth’s bounties, and who has felt both the pain and joy from other souls.
Though this part has experienced all of these, one thing I will notice is that this part is the one who has always been here, the unchangeable part of me. This is the part that speaks up to say “I am.” Nothing more, nothing less.
In “I am,” I find my peace. It’s somewhat my feeling of contentment but so much more. It’s finding my place in the spaces I occupy. It’s taking my own seat in my life. It’s resting in my being.
In “I am,” I am not my past nor my future. I am not my body that I parade around. I am not the labels that the world puts on me. I am not who I strive to be or who I think I should be.
In “I am,” I am simply me. The magick of peace holds me. It’s the peace that is not unattainable nor blinding. It’s the peace that is grounded in me from the first ever breath that I breathed and the one that stays with me until I pass over.
It’s the peace that shouts at me to bring me back to myself. It’s the feel- ing that gives me life. It’s the feeling that weaves a smile. It’s the feeling that supports my every step. It’s the feeling that strings me to here, con- nects me to every one, and roots me to every thing.
There are no reasons to peace. No roadmaps. No why’s. No how’s. No what if’s. Peace is that strong sense that binds me to that mysterious part of me.
Peace is the Universe’s cosmic joke. No matter what life presents, peace is still here because peace is my truth. Peace is my soul. Peace is my begin- ning. Peace is my end. Peace is my now.
Enveloped in peace’s embrace, I find myself both soaring as that white dove does and courageously walking through life’s muck. I am connected to myself. I am connected to my being.
In this reconnection, I find my peace, I feel my peace, I let peace lead me, I let peace keep me safe, I accept peace resonating within me, I allow peace to help me make it through.
Because peace is not out there flying in the sky. Because peace is not elusive.
Peace has always been within me. Peace resides in that throne within my heart, looking with wise eyes. Peace flows underneath my skin, beneath the rugged terrain of old age. Peace jumps in my belly, letting me feel my power beyond words or force.
And if peace has always been here, then yes, I can always feel peace again whenever I choose to. I only have to find that still point, let it expand, let it breathe me and let me feel again.